I'm Still Waiting

Chapter 8, I'm Still Waiting [February 1999]

In mid February, two months into the Feingold program, we learned that John's ritalin contained yellow dyes.  In other words, the drug we gave him to ease his symptoms might be producing the very same symptoms the next day, thus mandating yet another dose.  I am not fond of conspiracy theories, and I know the drug companies didn't plan it this way (ritalin was manufactured before Dr. Feingold's results were published), but now that we know synthetic dyes exacerbate ADHD symptoms in some children, are the drug companies likely to remove them from their products?  Don't hold your breath!  Ritalin sales gross a billion dollars a year; there is no incentive to search for alternative treatments, and every incentive to stay the course.  Money corrupts, and absolute money corrupts absolutely.

The Feingold drug guide lists only two "clean" anti-ADHD medications: a 20mg ritalin tablet, which is too strong for this young, small boy, and a stimulant that can cause liver damage.  We were definitely between a rock and a hard place.  If we wanted to be 100% additive free, we had to curtail all medication, whence John certainly could not attend school.  Fortunately winter break was just around the corner, a time to experiment.  I decided to suspend all medication.  We can never go back to ritalin - that much is clear - and I wasn't willing to subject John to any more medication.  (John was placed on numerous drugs, ritalin included, at his group home, by a trained psychiatrist, and according to the reports, he reacted badly to all of them.)

A Dye-Free Home

Halfway through winter break, John showed definite signs of improvement.  He wasn't ready for school, but he grew calmer with each passing day.  Until Friday morning that is, when Mr. Impulsive snuck into the refrigerator and ate an unauthorized toaster breakfast treat (raw), which contained two yellow dyes and two preservatives.  This set the clock back to zero, with school just three days away.  I was furious, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  He certainly wouldn't be ready for school by Monday morning, and we had no way to treat his symptoms.

If you read the Feingold materials, or other books on the subject, you are often advised to create a 100% safe home.  There should be nothing in the kitchen that contains dyes or preservatives, or whatever you are trying to avoid - nothing for your child to get into that would cause trouble.  Once again that is the theory, but I live in the real world.  My wife also suffers from a chronic health condition, irritable bowel syndrome, which can be completely managed by diet.  It took me three years to figure out how to do it, but that's another story.  She must eat certain foods on a regular basis, and they aren't all Feingold compliant.  In addition, we have a border who is not excited about jumping on the bandwagon.  Unless we evict her, her food will always be in the kitchen, and illicit snacking remains a constant threat.

When Feingold Isn't Enough

As school resumed, John was entirely unmanageable, and his teachers and principal wanted him back on ritalin immediately.  I refused.  (Ritalin wasn't working in any case.)  "We are going to manage his symptoms with diet." I declared flatly.  "If he's too much for you to handle, we'll keep him home until he is stabilized."  They didn't want one of their students sitting at home, but they certainly didn't want John in the classroom either.  They could not comprehend our reluctance to medicate our son into submission; apparently they never met parents like us before.  Finally they agreed to our little experiment for three weeks, whence we would reconvene and evaluate the situation.  Based on our progress during the first half of winter break I told them they would probably see significant improvements before our next meeting.  In other words, I stuck my neck out - perhaps a bit too far.

After the meeting, John was calming down again, and I was sure we were on the right track.  I was already rehearsing my "told you so" speech, but an hour after dinner, "All hell done broke loose now!"  This was a Feingold-safe meal - yet it induced a violent reaction in my son.  Clearly John exhibited food sensitivities along with his reactions to dyes and preservatives.

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