We finally realized that compliance is, and has been, the primary issue. Keeping a carb-free home is impractical, so we purchased a locking two-drawer filing cabinet, which holds our cereal, bread, chips, and any other ready-to-eat high carb snacks. The girls have to ask me for the key when they want dessert, or even a piece of toast, but when they open the drawer their special treat is still there. I don't hear complaints about disappearing cookies any more. And that's just a perk. The real benefit is the sanity that has returned to our home. John is much calmer under these restrictions, and the majority of the arguments, and fighting, and stress has gone away. Why didn't we do this two years ago?!
Wendy looked over at the cabinet this morning and said, "That's the best money we ever spent." I quite agree.
Of course the cabinet does not keep John away from his fix; it just makes it a little harder for him to score. He still walks down to the party store and buys cookies and candy. (We find the receipts in his pockets when doing laundry.) If he has no ready cash, he collects returnable cans and bottles along the way. It doesn't take much to buy a chocolate bar. Since he is almost as strong as an adult, we can't really keep him locked in the house, so he will do what he chooses to do. But at least we aren't leaving the illicit items sitting out on the counter any more. We have done our part - and now he will have to do the rest.